nostalgic.

This blog post should be posted in the beginning of March.

At that time, I just visited my daddy in the cemetery and it made me so emotional when I saw his picture. There were so many things floating on my mind but when I started to write, I did not what to write so I did not continue.

But today, he suddenly came into my mind again like usual and I know I have to write it down.

When we were still living together, I loved to go out with him by wrapping my little hands around his arm. We always played games especially monopoly at home. After he moved out, he would call every single night at 10:30 p.m. telling me he is going to sleep and good night. He would also wait me in the lobby of my apartment whenever we would have dinner together.

We talked very often and we were like good friends.

I remember when I introduced him my favourite K-Pop star Seungho to him, he did not like him that much simply because his daughter was thinking of another man all the time. But later he tried to copy Seungho's dancing in front of me and it cracked me up! Aww my lovely old man.

I am trying so hard to put all these memory pieces together well now but pieces from different times started to appear and I do not really have an order for it.

I just miss him and miss being his daughter.

He spoiled me with everything that he was able to give and gave me all the attention.

There is a saying that daughter is the lover of her father in the previous life.

Seriously, what did I do in the previous life that it made me losing him that quick in this life?

Losing him is like there is forever a hole in my life.

Also, I have been through a lot since his death.

I cannot have him to see me doing anything now and I cannot talk to him like I used to do.

I started to forget his face and even his voice when the time goes.

By thinking of this, it breaks my heart every time.

Daddy, do you know how afraid I am when you are not here with him now?

But I know I have to be strong and independent so that I can make him proud of me.

A while ago, I thought I have found the love of my life.

With him, I felt like I do not have to be strong all the time and I could put down all the armor because he was so gentle and protective. He is the only one who I told him about my daddy and he was there for me even though I could not speak anything as I was crying so hard. This means so much to me because I never bet anyone to understand my situation and all I need is a support.

His presence was important to me because I felt so much love from him and I loved him with all my heart too. I could not imagine that there would be someone who loved me so much other than my daddy.

However, the relationship did not work well and I am now on my own again to face the situation.

Honestly, I still miss him sometimes and wanted to talk to him. I am not okay but I guess I just have to put on the armor, rip the band aid off and let the wound heal. Oh god, it is so hard.

I am sensitive and emotional but I do not feel sorry about that because it makes me human.

I want people to know that being sensitive and emotional should not make you feel less just because other people do not feel the same way like you. I was told not to say I miss you or I love you but I said it anyway because that is the moment and maybe in the next second you do not have the chance anymore. Yes, I feel nostalgic sometimes because the past makes the present me and it is important no matter if it is good or bad.

Today, I know that that my grandfather in Shanghai is getting really sick and my heart just sinks til now. When you think your life is getting better, then it tells you: oh well I am going to take away another person of your life. This feeling sucks.
I hope he would get better soon!

Cherish!

Love,

Sonia

Brighton

Blank | New Friend | Calming Beach

I spent a few hours in Brighton in another day.

I am not sure why the idea of going there popped on my mind before the trip.

But I really wanted to travel on a train to somewhere else.

In the morning, I was almost running late for the train and I managed to get there on time.

But all the ticket machines went out of order so I could not get the ticket and I missed the train.

Luckily, there was another train to Brighton in just 20 minutes so I calmed down and waited.

After an hour-ish, I arrived Brighton!

First thing I noticed is that the buildings there are different than those in London and the pace there is definitely slower in London.

I spend over an hour sitting on the Brighton beach and thought about nothing. It is very calming.

The weather on that day was really nice and sunny. Imagine if it was summer, all the places would definitely be packed by people!

When I was about to leave the beach and heading to The Breakfast Club, I really wanted to take some pictures of myself there but selfie is not my preference so I bumped into a girl who is holding a camera. That is how I met my new girl friend from Austria. Afterwards, she joined me for the meal and we walked a bit. This is always nice to meet nice people in a new place:)

Side note: I was AGAIN almost late for the train going back to London but I made it (by running the fastest in my life ever) and then passed out on the train haha. 

Love,

Sonia

Somerset / Devon

(seriously panicked here haha)

Cliff | Road Trip | Walk

I have got a chance to stay in Fernie's house in Wellington for 3 nights.

Finally, we went on a road trip!! My first ever!!

Of course, Fernie did all the driving but she also taught me how to drive manual in a empty car park space...gear, clutch, accelerator and brake!!!

And it definitely gave me confidence to get a driving license this year.

We spent an afternoon in Exmoor National Park.

Walking along the cliff and even climbing onto the top seriously scared me.
Fernie kept on telling me it is totally safe on those rocks but I was like: NOOOOO!
Then I know I would not be here again for a while so I told Fernie I wanted to take a picture on that rock although I was panic like hell. I am glad that I did that tho:)
The whole mountain walk is so different than the one I did in Lucerne last June and it made me miss my Swiss friend and Finnish friend a lot:(

After that, we went to a cafe there and met a super fluffy dog!
It has been a long time to pet a dog since my dog passed away.
It is strange that I lived with my dog for 10 years but I was a bit nervous to touch a dog.

This little road trip made me want to do another road trip with my mummy next year!

Love,
Sonia

London

What words can you see?

City | Got Used To | Busy

My first time to UK.

Honestly, I could not think of three words to describe London when I was planning this blog post.

Everything is very familiar to me since Hong Kong has the same system like double-deck bus and power socket, and I watched a lot of YouTube videos from UK.

Generally, people there seems quite cold to me except my host in Airbnb and the owners in the tea rooms. Whenever I entered the tea rooms or went home, I felt warmer and seemed like getting in another world than the cold and busy London.

I went to see a a musical called Wicked with my South African friend Fernie.

I did not realize that there is another story of the Witches of Oz and was so amazed by the sounds!

Definitely would love to see another musical soon especially The Lion King.

Of course, I went to Boots and Superdrugs for makeups and I hope Hong Kong could have such an amazing collection of drugstore makeups there!

Surprisingly, I did not buy loads of makeup like I imagined but just a few.

Also, I went to the see British Museum for Egyptian collection. You just cannot imagine how detailed those stones were, even the nails from a Lion's paws!

Lastly, I have to mention Nando's. It is South African mixed with Portuguese style but I was told it is a must-try in UK. I ordered a 1/2 chicken with chips and spicy rice and I was so full that I could not finish at all. Credit to the delicious sauces!

Love,

Sonia